


If I remember hard enough, you'll come back to me.

by gracestealingcastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, F/M, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-01 21:58:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14530077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracestealingcastiel/pseuds/gracestealingcastiel
Summary: Possibly AU Season 13 - 14When Kench rescues and brings Gabriel to the men of letter's bunker it is a quick decision for Dean and Kench to go in search of Mary and Jack. Leaving Sam and Castiel to take care of the broken and beaten Gabriel. While trying to 'reboot' Gabriel's memories Sam tells Gabriel every memory that he could remember of Gabriel. Even the times when Gabriel wasn't exactly himself.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey you guys, I'm not the writers of Supernatural and this is a fanfiction. Which means I'm going to be taking aspects of the show [as they are given to us] and supplement moments of my own. -Which is what fanfiction is sometimes-
> 
> THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILERS THAT ARE GOING TO POP UP IN THIS STORY IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP TO SEASON 13 PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS. 
> 
> Also watch for ratings at the beginning of chapters. I'm setting this rating to explicit for future chapters. 
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter is rated PG
> 
> Also this chapter is just a memory, he's not actually telling Gabriel that memory.

Sam couldn’t help but stare at the being that was dragged in by Ketch. Ketch said it was Gabriel, then Ketch and Dean just went storming off to war leaving Sam here trying to figure out what the hell to do. So he did the one thing he knew - he called Castiel.

“What do you mean Gabriel is alive?” Sam sighed as he heard Castiel’s voice grow louder. 

“Look Ketch brought him in, said he broke him out of Asmodeus little hideout, weren’t you there for a while you didn’t notice him?”

“I wasn’t exactly in the position to notice the people in cells around me Sam, I’ll be there soon. Be careful.” 

With those last words Sam hung up his cellphone and tucked it into his back pocket. He paced back and forth before he walked to the fridge and grabbed a beer and opened it.

“Fuck” He muttered and put the bottle down before taking his first sip. He walked down the hall and stopped in front of Castiel’s door. Sam couldn’t imagine putting him anywhere else and it wasn’t like Cas was using it right now.

“There’s gotta be a way”

When Ketch first left it took a lot to get Gabriel to move from the chair and into the bedroom, the man flailed like a toddler having a tantrum. The grown angel would noodle his body and become limp, anything to slip out of Sam’s arms. 

“I’m coming in Gabriel” Same spoke gently to the door before opening it, the room was dark, reaching over he flicked the light switch and turned on the light to see Gabriel curled up in the corner.

“Gabriel?” He walked over and sat down on the bed and looked at him.

“Gabe look, I don’t know what you’ve been through but I can only imagine it’s been hell. I’ve been there I get it, but you’re not there, we’ve gotta get you out of this funk okay? Gabe?” Sam stood up and ran his hand through his hair before he sat back down and cleared his throat.

“Do you remember the first time we met? When we thought you were a trickster? Just a joker pretending to be a janitor so you could fuck with college kids?”

Sam looked at Gabriel who sat, staring at the wall. There was no way this was the same Archangel that threw Sam and Dean into tv land for a week. Or the guy who kept Dean in a death loop for six months and then Sam in a fake universe for another six months after that. Which of course ended up only being one day but, who’s counting?

Sam shook his head, “I uh, I remember that, I also remember the time we met you after that. It was what, a mystery spot? You uh, you trapped us in a groundhog day loop for what felt like a year.” Sam smiled a little.

When Gabriel’s face was still unmoving, a frozen look of confusion and fear Sam stood up. “I’m going to get you back Gabriel” He whispered before he walked out of the room, his hand quickly flicking the light switch leaving Gabriel once again in darkness.

\--------------------------------

_February 20th 2007_

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_Gabriel smiled lightly when he watched Sam and Dean Winchester climb out of their car and walk towards the grungy diner. It was a little too easy to track the Winchester’s, even by human standards. Just follow route 66 and stop at every single dingy bar until they show up._

_Sure he had more important people to waste his time on, but sometimes wasting your time on something mundane made the pornstars a little more exciting to be around._

_Gabriel shifted in his seat, his entire appearance changing to that of a young blond male with dark green eyes and soft olive skin._

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_After the trickster moment with the boys back at the school he knew it wasn’t going to be sunshine and lollipops with either of the boys. But that never stopped Gabriel from getting something he wanted, right now he wanted Sam ‘Tall Boy’ Winchester._

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_Sam pushed open the diner room door and sighed as he looked back at his brother._

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_“I don’t know Dean, when I was reading up on Trickster’s they seemed a little more complicated, it just doesn’t feel like a win to me.”_

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_Dean snorted at his brother “Whatever man, I’m grabbing some burgers then after I stuff my face good I’m gonna go across the road and win the money for the hotel tonight.” Dean winked at Sam before he walked up to a booth and took a seat, quickly ordering whatever hamburger they had on special. After a few nasty experiences Dean decided to separate drink and food for a while._

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_Sam looked at Dean and sighed “Whatever..” Sam sat down in the booth and smiled at the waitress that came over looking like she had been at work a few too many hours._

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_“I’ll have a chicken wrap and a salad please” Sam smiled quickly before he jumped a little “oh and a water.”_

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_“Nerd” Dean muttered as he watched the waitress walk away, his head tilting to the side as he appreciated her ‘assets’._

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_“At least I’m not a perv, come on Dean she’s a working girl.”_

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_“I like my girls working”_

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_Sam shook his head before his eye watch caught by a pair of beautiful green eyes staring at him. He shifted in his seat and looked away._

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_“So I guess I shouldn’t wait up then hm?”_

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_Dean shook his head “Oh hell no, also I’m keeping the keys to the car, we don’t need another Michigan moment.” Both Dean and Sam looked away from each other at the quick memory of a very unfortunate, drunken, naked moment._

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_Sam nodded “Right well, don’t drive.” Sam looked over at Dean and was instantly disgusted once more as his older brother was quickly shoveling down a burger. Sam sighed, there were times when this didn’t bug him as much and he’d enjoy a night hustling pool for money. But lately there’s been a shift, something was happening and Sam didn’t know what to do about it. His dreams were becoming a problem, he knew it was starting to get to Dean too._

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_“Dean be careful okay?” Sam muttered at Dean who rolled his eyes pulling out some cash and leaving it on the table before he walked away._

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_Sam sighed and shifted in his seat, he hadn’t even seen the waitress come over with the food._

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_“Well hello there,” Sam looked up quickly and noticed the same pair of beautiful green eyes staring at him, but now from across his own booth. Sam shifted and cleared his throat._

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_“Uh hi, can I help you?”_

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_Gabriel smirked, Sam was no wiser he couldn’t see past the disguise. They never did._

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_“Well I saw you, I know you saw me, just wanted to buy you a drink, or dessert” He nodded towards Sam’s plate._

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_Sam looked down at his plate before he looked up at the man and smiled. “Uh, beer thanks.”_

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_Gabriel tilted his head to the side, Sam didn’t know what he just said yes to and the Archangel knew the man would never regret it either. With a snap of his fingers the waitress, who had been somewhere in the back suddenly appeared walking across the diner, beer in hand._

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_What happened next was something beyond Sam’s own memory, too many drinks maybe? He’d never know, but what he did know was as his brother was climbing into the dingy double across the room Sam had heard a familiar voice as the man who had shared his bed slipped out of the room._

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_“I’ll see you soon Sam Winchester”_

\---------------------------------


	2. A little hotel switch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam tries to jump Gabriel's memory with a Trickster Memory Sam had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to point out that I am aware that I change the noun of Gabriel to 'The Trickster' in the flash back and last chapter I used 'Gabriel' in the flashback. 
> 
> While both memories are in Sam's POV the first one he didn't know the man was the trickster or anyone else and I gave no name to Gabriel's disguise.
> 
> Hopefully this doesn't confuse and upset people.

It didn’t take long before Castiel was running down the stairs and into the bunker.

“Sam?” His voice boomed through the common room and into the hall, reaching Sam’s ears in the kitchen. It didn’t take long for Sam to come running into the common room. He gave a quick glance at the rift that was crackling and floating still very much there. Sam looked back at Castiel and saw the man frozen in place, staring at the rift.

“They’ll be fine.”

“Says you, you let your brother go into that world with Ketch.” Castiel spat and then sighed, clearly the stress of finding Jack was getting to him.

Sam ran his hand through his hair.

“Look I know this is hard but we’ve got Gabriel, we’ve got our archangel we’ve just got to get him to pull himself back together.” 

Castiel looked at Sam before he walked through the room towards the hall.

“Where did you put him?” Castiel started to walk down the hall not bothering to really wait for Sam. In his experience the man was tall enough to catch up in only a stride or two.

“Your room, I didn’t know where else to put him I didn’t want to put him in one of the new rooms they’re a little dusty.”

Castiel snorted “Sam it doesn’t matter to an archangel where they are placed,” Castiel walked up to his room and opened the door. Turning on the light he froze when he saw Enochian written all over the walls. He walked in and turned in a circle before his eyes found Gabriel.

“What does it say?” Whispered Sam as he walked in, his own eyes widening at the sight.

“It’s his story, where he left off at Lucifer’s death, how he survived, where he went” Castiel walked over and stared at some symbols and blinked.

“He lived with pornstars…” Castiel muttered and looked back at Sam before he continued. “It also says that he was captured by Asmodeous.” Castiel turned his eyes back to Gabriel who was still in the corner where Sam had left him.

Sam walked over and knelt down in front of Gabriel, asking him yet again. “Gabriel, it’s me Sam Winchester, do you know me?”

Without a response Sam sighed and Castiel motioned for Sam to help him move Gabriel to the bed. Of course once again it was like three floundering dancers trying to coordinate. Sam and Castiel would pull while Gabriel would flounder, noodle and pull back trying to do anything to keep himself off the bed. Once he was back on the bed Castiel walked up beside him and put his hand on Gabe’s head. Focusing on his elder brother’s grace, his being. Anything Castiel could latch onto that could possibly bring the archangel back into a functioning being of some sort. No doubt the torture that he endured caused him to pull into himself. Hiding away from the world, as he had done before.

“I don’t think I can help him, I don’t have the kind of energy to heal an angel like this. Besides it’s not healing him Sam, he’s lost somewhere in there I don’t think anyone can help him but himself.”

Sam looked at Castiel and then walked over to the silver platter that was still sitting in the room and grabbed the remaining vial of grace that was on it.

“What if he gave him back his grace?”

Castiel shrugged “It could work, or you could be wasting another chance at getting Jack and Mary back should Dean not find them this time.”

Sam stared at the vial and shook his head “No if we need more I’m sure Gabriel will give it to us, okay Gabe…” Sam tried several times to get Gabriel to swallow his grace. Like the toddler he had reverted to he squealed and moved feverishly away from Sam, pushing his back against the head board of the bed.

“I don’t think he’s going to open up and let the choo choo in Sam.” Castiel muttered and Sam groaned putting the vial down on the tray once more.

“We need him back”

“I know Sam,” Castiel looked at Gabriel and let his head fall before he slipped back out of the room. To see one of the great archangels still alive but barely was painful. 

Sam looked over at Gabriel and shook his head, he was going to get Gabriel to remember, if he could remember what he was before all of this happened, before he was stabbed at the hands of Lucifer then he could remember Sam, he could remember Sam, Dean and everything that happened. Gabriel could remember why he was important to this family.

“I’m going to tell you a story Gabe, all you have to do is listen.” 

\------

_March 10th 2008 [Sorta]_

_Sam woke up to a dark and cold hotel room, no music on the radio, no Dean to wake him up with some stupid quote or antidote. Just Sam, alone in a hotel room, looking for the man who killed his brother over and over again. Slipping out of the bed that was barely big enough to hold his frame he pushed himself up and grabbed a warm beer from the bedside table and took a sip of it. The horrible taste filled his mouth but woke him up enough to turn on the lights and open the curtain, filling the room with sunlight._

_On the wall opposite the bed was a spiderweb of photos, post it notes and newspaper clippings. All pointing in the same direction of the asshole trickster that just wouldn’t leave them alone._

_“I’m going to find you, you son of a bitch” Sam’s voice was rough from lack of sleep, but every single one of Sam’s dreams had been filled with the repeated images of Dean’s death. Sam pulled out his cellphone and gave it a quick glance in case Bobby had heard anything. Putting his phone away with a sigh he decided coffee was needed. Sam checked himself, he was still wearing last night’s jeans and a black t-shirt. With Dean gone, somehow Sam had inherited his brother’s style._

_Heading towards the door Sam pulled it open to see the person he had been looking for standing on the other side of it._

_“Looking for me Sam? ” The Trickster looked up at Sam and smiled his big tooth hidden grin._

_Sam’s eyes widened, he grabbed The Trickster and threw him into the room turning to grab his gun he blinked when the room that he had been sleeping in was gone, instead he was now standing in the middle of what appeared to be a Villa, a large white condo overlooking a vast valley._

_“Come on Sam” The Trickster smiled “Isn’t it tiresome? Searching for me day in and day out. I mean where is the fun in avenging your brother’s death when you can take a breath, have a drink and -” The Trickster was cut short by Sam’s quick strike to the face. The golden haired man stumbled before falling to the ground and started to laugh._

_“Sam, come on Dean isn’t dead...look” he nodded over his shoulder._

_Sam looked down at the bleeding Trickster before he was quickly running across the livingroom. Two large white couches framed a marble coffee table, large double glass doors burst open before Sam came to a skidding halt on the patio. His brother was wading water looking up at him._

_“Shhhh” he whispered a large smile on his face as he pointed towards the water._

_Sam blinked and saw the blurred image of a person under the water and he shook his head._

_“What the fuck Dean?”_

_A woman suddenly emerged from the water and stared at Sam, she looked at Dean and frowned before climbing out of the water and walking away._

_“Jesus Sam, can’t you just let a brother get an underwater blow job! I mean have you ever had an under water blow job?”_

_Sam couldn’t understand what was going on. “Dean, you’re dead.”_

_Dean smirked “If I was dead I wouldn’t be here.”_

_Sam turned on his heel and looked at The Trickster who had his hands in his pockets. “See Sam, this is a test, you’ve got to learn to live your life without your brother by your side. Because...it’s a reality you’re going to have to face.”_

_“You killed Dean, I’ll kill you.”_

_The Trickster sighed “Jesus Sam, you know for someone who got top grades in college, you’re failing hard here peaches.”_

_Sam looked over at Dean before he looked back at The Trickster “Bring my brother back,”_

_“You’re brother is in the pool.”_

_“No,” Sam might have been hungover and over tired, but he didn’t think his mind was gone that much._

_“I watched you kill my brother, bring him back to me or I will kill you. This isn’t real.”_

_The Trickster sighed and shook his head “You know I was really hoping to have some fun with you, you look like a tree that I’m ready to climb.” the man winked before he snapped his fingers leaving Sam standing back in his hotel room alone._

_A lingering voice in the air filled his ears. “I’ll see you soon Sam Winchester.”_

\--------------------

Sam looked up at Gabriel and smiled “You know, Gabe” Sam reached out to touch Gabe’s knee and the man pulled back, a terrified look on his face as he stared down at Sam.

Sam sighed and stood up, staring at the walls. Time was running out, Sam looked over at the lone vial of grace, what if he couldn’t give it to Gabriel? What if he couldn’t bring the archangel back, he’d have to use it for Dean.


End file.
